Butterfly Girl
Photo courtesy of Tomi Simmons.
By Tomi Simmons
We met on the corner of the coffee shop and Fremont street
Lights blinding us
Pollen hitting the pavement
Butterflies in season
We met in the morning as
I woke up in the midst
of chemistry textbooks never read and letters to my sister
never sent
Cocoons embedded in the blanket and pillows
We met in the mirror between walking
past the bathroom and to my mother’s room
Wings beginning to spread
And here you are
Doe eyed
Fearful
Butterflies popping out of you
You force caterpillars to grow before their cocoons are developed
Rushing growth before we are in season
You are so quick to help me
Before you are ready
And I burn the ecosystem
Trying to burn caterpillars
Before they change
Hoping change does not change me
Hoping that swallowing trauma whole without digesting it will sit still
Doe eyed
Butterfly filled
You
There’s a glisten in your eye that glisten blinds me
Its strength
and you are me
As I am you
How could I be afraid of you
How could you be afraid of me
We are the same
A voice I never knew to have
Butterfly girl
Caterpillar filled
Let them grow
Out of all of the times we met
You never failed me
You hurt me
when you believe failure is in your capability to me
I failed you
For rushing you
For making you afraid
For not accepting you
When you have accepted
Me
Stuck in a caterpillar phase
And I have let pride and stagnation go
To say I am sorry
I am sorry for all the times
I did not let you speak up
When I doubted your ability to fly
When I doubted what I could hold inside of me
Because of the burdens I did not let go
For all the times I almost burned gardens
Because I did not want you to grow
Because maybe I was outgrowing myself
For all the times I did not nurture you
Like you did to me
We met on the corner of the coffee shop and Fremont street
You put me on the microphone and spread my wings
You drove me to wake up in the mess of my room
and get to my mother’s room
Butterfly girl
Saved me
It’s time I started saving you
Photo courtesy of Tomi Simmons.
Tomi Simmons was born and raised in Las Vegas Nevada. Today she competes in slam poetry and writes about healing from her past.