Thankfulness, Art, and the View from Above
By Melissa Melero-Moose
It is amazing the things you can get used to. Well, at least try to anyway. Wearing a mask, closed schools, museums, malls, movies and empty shelves. I bet all those toilet paper hoarders don’t even know what they did wrong! Even as protests, politics and an ongoing pandemic rage on, we as humans keep going.
One thing I never did get used to is the silence coming from the playground I live next to. It is a constant reminder that I want normal back. I want to hear the children laughing and playing together without a care in the world. I am so thankful to have had technology in this time, so we can all stay connected in ways we never thought would be possible. I am thankful for so many things these days. We are in a world pandemic. We’re not even sure what that means yet, I mean for our society in this day and age. We are not through it yet. The lost jobs and closing businesses, the food lines and homelessness. It is hard to see such a rich country have so many things failing right now. I keep thinking, “I am living through this, with little means but much more than others.” Our children will remember this time and tell their children what happened to them. I keep telling my teenage son this, as he looks at me with confusion and disinterest. Hmmm.
It begins. Photos/Melissa Melero-Moose.
Park closed.
About a month in, the Tribal council on my reservation announced a curfew for our community due to the high COVID-19 numbers in Indian Country. The curfew was followed closely by the road blocks in and out of our Tribal lands. This is still in effect all over the country on Tribal lands. At first, I felt violated and trapped, even though it was for the good of our community. I got used to them as well. Is this progress? I’m not sure, but resilience does run in our community. Endurance is another.
I remember reading an article about an Indigenous poet and writer, Heid E. Erdrich, who stated that “Indigenous peoples are already post-apocalyptic; we don't have to imagine the apocalypse; we are surviving it." That is a powerful statement, and I do feel that strength passed down from my ancestors. It is a positive, in a world of historical trauma and racism that our people go through each day. I need to remember how strong we can be.
It took a few months before I contemplated, “OK, how do I get back to creating?” This is how I survive on any normal day in this world. This is what will get me through. I have to admit, the forced pause in my day to day was a nice break. Though my brain was stuck in a sort of COVID-19 haze, time with my family was a crucial bonding experience that I will never forget. I took my mom on a lot of long walks. And then there was Scrabble. I think we filled an entire 120 sheet notebook with our scores. I was so very grateful that our Tribal community took care of our elders in this time by bringing food and supplies regularly in the first few months, and continued to pay all Tribal employees working from home and even those who could not.
Walk.
Passing time.
My creativity finally worked its way back into my every day. It was strange to me that as an artist, I was personally stalled out when it seemed everyone around me was more creative than usual. For me, it was like I was blank, mentally and physically, just nothing. So, I focused on exercise, cooking, spring cleaning, and managed to paint every room in the house. That was fun and it took my mind off all the rest.
As the creative waves returned, and I started to adjust to the new crazy. I felt refreshed like I had just returned from an extended vacation. There is a rest, of body and mind, I had not experienced since I lay helpless in the hospital after having my son. I remember thinking in the hospital, “I can’t do anything, so enjoy this moment. Rest.” It was such a moment too. Mommy workaholics know what I’m talking about!
Writing.
Weaving.
Though I am a visual artist, I wrote a lot and started weaving through the urging and direction of my fellow Indigenous basket makers. I also started a COVID-19 photo series, unaware that I would ever share it with anyone. This was, for me, very therapeutic. It gave me focus so that I can continue on with the everyday.
Westward Expansion/Access Denied, 2020, mixed media on canvas, 36" L x 48" W.
Five months in, as I started painting regularly again, I am again thankful for so many things. My family, our health, and a safe place in the world to weather this storm. The view from above is looking hopeful as we can see what we have endured and how to cope. Helping each other get through this and continuing the cycle of life is what we are on this planet for.
Photo/Melissa Melero-Moose.
Melissa Melero-Moose is a mixed media visual artist, mother, and a Northern Paiute enrolled with the Fallon Paiute-Shoshone Tribe. She lives in Hungry Valley, Nevada, working as a professional artist, contributing writer for First American Art Magazine, and founder/curator of the art collective the Great Basin Native Artists (GBNA). She is currently completing an Artist in Residence, Research Fellowship at the Institute of American Indian Arts, Santa Fe, New Mexico where she is putting together a comprehensive archive for the GBNA, which will be permanently housed at the Nevada Museum of Art, Center for Art and Environment Research Library, and online collections.
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