Artist Disconnected
Photos/Bettina May.
By Bettina May
One of the hardest parts of being an artist during a pandemic has been the lack of physical connection with other people, whether it's other artists, the audience, or even just the random day-to-day interactions with strangers in public. Though I practice a variety of arts as a photographer, burlesque dancer, musician, model, and writer—and some of these can be practiced solo in isolation—so much of the inspiration comes from getting out and seeing the world up close and personal. Finding new ways to do that in Las Vegas has been a challenge over the past few months. Certainly the learning curve in the first month of lockdown here was steep. Now that things are opening up a bit, I am trying my best to soak up as much physical experience as safely possible, but even in-person meet-ups still have a disconnect that is frustrating, though obviously necessary.
When my world screeched to a halt in mid-March, and all my work travel began to get cancelled in quick succession, I thought that one of the things I would be able to pick up the easiest in this new down time would be writing, which is inherently a solo activity. Or so I thought. I didn't realize how much the buzzing flow of fresh energy brought through Las Vegas by happy tourists and business travelers was a large part of my creative process, whether it's seeing the throngs of people exploring the Strip or poking around downtown. One of my favorite ways to get around the city was to do a ride share, inevitably finding myself sharing a backseat with a visitor in the city and hearing about their trip so far, or quizzing the driver on their tenure in the city, however short or long, and comparing stories. Who knows how long it will be until these brief yet intimate moments become commonplace again? That question is still unanswered, and it's been quite a struggle to find news ways to get inspired to write again, though I work at it daily.
Perhaps the easiest way to create during this strange time was the most surprising for me: making music. This has always been a collaborative process for me, and one that I've tended to find hardest to do in isolation, but a chance gift of a ukulele from a friend a couple years ago, which had just been gathering dust on a shelf since then, helped me to escape the depression of isolation in the beginning of lockdown. Though I've heard that everything sounds sweet and happy on a uke, the easiest songs I could find, or perhaps was drawn to were sad old jazz standards from the 1930s. Learning and playing them put me in contact with a long line of heartbroken and isolated artists from the past. I found it quite soothing, and I've since dusted off my other two instruments, the bagpipes and the drums. I'm sure most people will be glad that I haven't figured out how to play them all at once, because that's the one-woman band no one asked for. I am very much looking forward to being able to play in person with other musicians soon though, because that exchange of energy is the best feeling.
At a recent shoot with burlesque performer Brawling Beauty.
The type of photography that I specialize in is vintage glamour portraits, and the majority of my clients fly in from around the world for conventions, all of which started to be cancelled even before Vegas itself shut down. This allowed me more free time to focus on my self-portrait project. As a model with photography skills, I realized years ago that I was the best person to take my own photo, so I wouldn't have to sacrifice my vision to another photographer's perspective. This is the only part of my art that was not affected by the pandemic at all. I've always created these photos in isolation, and share them with a small but dedicated Patreon following. Though virtual, staying in contact with my members and sharing my work in this way provided the one thread of normalcy in otherwise unsettling times. I'm so grateful for the structure that it has provided as far as following my posting schedule and having a few deadlines that I needed to keep on top of. It was also nice to have an online community to check on, and to see how things were unfolding in their communities.
I have struggled more with how to restart photographing clients. Generally I am a very hands-on photographer, from doing the hair and make-up of my clients to making physical adjustments throughout the shoot to ensure clothing and hair stay perfect, so there was and still is a lot to think of in terms of finding a way to safely continue. I've slowly started booking contact-free shoots, but it has been a real struggle, as my mask, which I am glad to be wearing for both my sake and the model, causes my glasses and the back of my camera to fog up, and I need to stop more frequently mid-flow to clear that up so I can see what I'm doing. And I really miss the extra time that connecting with my models during the hair and makeup styling gives to help both of us feel comfortable together and get a better sense of what art we will create during the shoot itself. While I know some stylists are starting to find ways to minimize the risk of transmission during hair and make-up application, for me the risk still seems too high, so I am not focusing much on photography at the moment.
Portrait of Brawling Beauty by Bettina May.
Live performance will likely take the longest to come back to normal, and burlesque performance especially. While it certainly can be done with little to no contact with the audience, it's more fun with it, and I've never been in a backstage where I wasn't at some point squeezing past another performer, or more likely slinking through a kitchen, tiny office, or some other makeshift backstage area, shocking unsuspecting busboys or hotel staff along the way. What traditional burlesque artist hasn't asked an audience member to bite the tip of her glove to help peel it off, and then put that back in her gig bag, and invited another person to go the same thing without washing it, and never thought twice about it? It's a wonder we weren't constantly sick! I think we've placed too much stock in the sanitizing aspects of whiskey and gin in the past?
I did attempt recording a couple of online shows from my living room or even the mountains around Vegas, but without the connection with the audience it just didn't spark the same joy in me. However, I have enjoyed watching people perform from their homes because there is the illusion that the performance and the viewing of it are happening simultaneously. From the performer's side though, it lacks the eye contact and exchange of energy that is so crucial to the joy of live performance. It ended up supplying all the work and self-critique of art creation with none of the dopamine release of positive feedback until sometimes weeks later when the online show would debut. No amount of comments or likes on a show post can replace the effect of the roar and applause of a cheering crowd on the gentle heart of an artist.
It has been heartening to see how people have been using art to get through this worldwide crisis. And I'm both heartened, and a bit jealous to see live performance and public gatherings return to countries that have handled the pandemic a bit smarter than we have here in the United States. I am glad that Las Vegas is a city built around entertainment, and it's a big part of why I moved here from New York. I'm confident that we will all work together to find a way to safely provide people with the escapist fun that made this city famous, and we need to ensure that artists can continue to find a safe haven here to live affordably while creating the next big thing or underground gem. Everyone is discovering how vital contact with the outside world is to our collective sanity, and with a little teamwork and community-mindedness, I know we'll get to the point where we can connect up close and personal again.
Bettina May is a Las Vegas-based, Canadian-born writer, photographer, model, filmmaker, dancer, musician, and vintage lifestyle expert and instructor. She has a BA in Political Science from the University of Victoria and started modeling and photography in 2000. Shortly afterwards, Bettina began performing and teaching burlesque around the world. She made her artistic endeavors a full-time job in 2009 when she immigrated to New York City, eventually becoming the first person to get an American green card based on her outstanding ability in burlesque and pin-up.
Her work has taken her to every province of Canada, every state in America, as well as most of Europe and the UK. Bettina has been featured on The Real Housewives of New York City, NBC News, CBS, FOX News, and has performed for Brooke Shields, Jude Law, and many more. Her how-to book Everyday Bombshell was published in 2014, and most recently her collection of erotic short stories Bohemia Pulp came out in 2019.
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