Feeling Essential
By Hassan Hamilton
With the lone exception of the tragic helicopter crash that claimed the lives of Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gigi, and others on January 26, 2020 was off to a great start for me personally. I was already a few months in at my new job as a Greeter at Fergusons Downtown, business was booming at my part-time job as door security for the Bunkhouse Saloon. I was making money hand over fist it seems. Both local and national shows that came into town were always fun and a great way to hang out and party with my friends from the local arts scene and service industry. Bar hopping after work was always the game plan because we all knew each other. In fact, the projections were so good that I had planned on releasing a new album on July 25 (my 40th birthday), and throwing a huge release show/party for its release. Sure I had bigger fish to fry on the personal side of things, but I was having too much fun to pay any of that any mind. I was ready to take life by the horns…
Then COVID-19 happened!
Overnight, band shirts would be replaced by face masks. Shots were replaced by hand sanitizer. Sold out tickets would be replaced by toilet paper. Social distancing was the new mosh pit. And forget hanging out with the homies… better hop on a Zoom meeting to do that. As a well known Hip Hop artist in the local music scene, the mandatory lockdown and quarantine almost put the nail in the coffin of my creative ambitions.. not to mention hurt me financially. Lost my door security gig due to the shutdown as well. I felt as if someone pulled the red carpet from up under me!!
Luckily I was still employed and getting hours at my full-time job. But now instead of greeting customers, I, along with my fellow co-workers were patrolling the property day and night, making sure no one would try to break into the now closed businesses with merchandise still inside of them. I won't lie, I was bummed and felt useless at first because it was so boring. And my growing jealousy of watching my friends and family who got laid off due to the pandemic collect an extra $600 a week on top of whatever the state was already paying them for unemployment sure didn't help matters either. Yes, I got the $1,200 stimulus payment, but I needed a mental health check more than anything. The streets that were once filled with people became literal ghost towns overnight. Musically, without venues to perform at, I saw many of my peers utilize streaming platforms such as Instagram and others to perform their music. I didn't have the means to do the same so that was another personal let down. On the home front, Postmates became my “go to” for food due to the shortage of practically everything in grocery stores. And without nowhere to go, cramped up in a studio apartment, I started to quickly sink into a deep depression.
As time went by and the lockdown continued, my mind that was once drawing blanks under a deep fog of despair suddenly started to feel the creative juices flowing again! During my late night shifts I started to come up with ideas and concepts that eventually led me to write the songs that would ultimately comprise my latest EP, Getting 2 Old 4 This. I was even inspired to write a piece that I shared on my Instagram page, a response to Las Vegas's mayor Carolyn Goodman wanting the city to open back up for gaming and tourism in spite of dealing with a deadly pandemic, and even offering up the city as a guinea pig for reopening across the country. Needless to say, the response I received was both positive and just the push I needed to feel like I was useful again. More online performances followed and once again, I was in demand!
Nevada’s Governor Sisolak eventually started lifting lockdown restrictions in phases, but there was no doubt in anyone's mind that things wouldn't be as they once were, and that this was our new normal. Many bars and venues are still closed. My place of part-time work, the Bunkhouse Saloon, was one of the many casualties of the pandemic… even passing by that place just crushes my soul because I miss it so much. The camaraderie between my co-workers, the shows, karaoke nights, and performing there will stay with me as long as I live. My full-time job opened back up but with the new guidelines in place, and I got my old duties back for what it's worth. Not to take glee in anyone's hardships, but many of the same individuals that I envied for getting that extra $600 a week in emergency unemployment have exhausted their benefits and unfortunately are either having a hard time finding employment or are hoping for an extension from the government. My heart especially goes out to my friends and anyone in general who never got a dime or didn't even qualify for the Pandemic Unemployment Assistance (PUA). In other words, I'm blessed to not only still have a job, but to also be employed by a company who kept me working when they didn't have to, and cared about my well being throughout the pandemic… even more than ever as our nation tackles systemic racism and the unrest caused by the killings of innocent Black people. I'm thankful for their unwavering support through it all. And granted, my plans may have gotten spoiled by COVID-19, but I still achieved my goal of releasing a new project on my 40th birthday!
Who knows what's in store for us all moving forward, but one thing's for sure... I'M FEELING ESSENTIAL AGAIN!
Photo/Courtesy Hassan Hamilton.
Hassan Hamilton is a hip-hop artist, community activist, and overall mainstay in the Las Vegas music scene. His work has been featured in Las Vegas Weekly, Desert Companion, DTLV blog, and others. He has performed at venues such as Brooklyn Bowl LV, House of Blues, Bunkhouse Saloon, Life Is Beautiful 2015, etc. A downtown Las Vegas resident, Hassan is a member of the team at Fergusons Downtown. You can find more of his music here.
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