Mental Health, Comics, and Emotions: Feelings About Existing in a Pandemic
Comics/Gina Parham.
By Gina Parham
At the time of the shutdown, I was recuperating from a chronic health condition. Since the world felt like it was falling apart around me, I took time to try to recover and focus on my health. I remember when the shutdown was announced and feeling how serious COVID-19 was about to get. I felt a collective anxiousness build up in my community. There was a lot of uncertainty. Trips and weddings were cancelled, people lost their jobs, and the Las Vegas strip was hauntingly quiet.
I constantly felt like something really bad was going to happen, and a lot of bad things did happen. I was stressed about people not wearing masks, my family still working, and the idea of getting sick and being a vector in someone’s death.
I realize that despite the world being on pause, and the uncertainty involved, there are still some things I could control. I’ve spent a lot of time doom-scrolling on my phone for hours and feeling hopeless for a brighter future. I’m so tired of feeling hopeless. During the past year, I’ve learned to do things that will make me happy, even while adjusting to the constraints of the pandemic. I feel lucky to be able to have the means to do that, at the time I’m writing this I’ve managed to get through this pandemic without my family or I getting COVID-19. Taking online classes, doing workshops, going on walks, or sending letters to friends has been my way of finding happiness.
Because of COVID-19, I’ve leaned back into online communities. Connecting with people has always been easier behind a screen for me. Quarantining has reminded me of summers during middle school and not being able to go anywhere or see anyone. Middle school was a time in which I was discovering the internet and online forums and communities. I never thought I would be back to where I was at 12 years old: engaging in online zine communities and making internet friends, which my parents would always advise against (sorry mom and dad!).
Making comics about being a barista has been a source of stress relief. When I started my coffeeshop career in 2015, I was overwhelmed by how difficult the job was. I soon started making comics about these difficulties at work such as being talked over or tip thievery.
I have found comfort in friends and in making art. Making art has always been good for my mental health, even when I didn’t realize it! I’m a shy person, so drawing helps me connect with people. It’s easier for me to draw a sequence of images with words and feelings rather than come up with something to say. Living and drawing through this pandemic helped me realize how much creating and putting my art out there is necessary for making and sustaining friendships and for my mental health.
Drawing comics has always been a way for me to record funny moments or life events. Looking back at comics I’ve made is like looking in a time capsule. They’re not perfect or polished, but it’s fun to look back and remember different stages of my life. It’s freeing to share emotions and experiences in comics through making posts on Instagram and compiling comics into handmade books, or zines. When I made my first comic zine and sold copies at the Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival, there was a surprising amount of people telling me how much they loved my comics. It was like a pleasant slap in the face that said, “Hello, people like your comics, nerd! You should keep doing it!” Reaching people who “get” my stuff is one of the best feelings.
I’ve been in therapy throughout the pandemic. In that time, therapy has taught me to be present and develop a better sense of emotional maturity. Prior to the pandemic, I was still afraid to make a movement in my life for fear of failure. I’m not perfect, but being aware of how I feel has helped me to decide what I’m going to do about what I’m feeling. For instance, I decided during the pandemic to go back to school for graphic design. I’m not the same person I was a year ago. I have seen a lot of my actions in the past year as steps of bravery. Therapy, going back to school, sharing my art, and being a friend, have all required me to make a move. Even all the friendships in my life began because I was brave and struck up a conversation or just chased them in my car on the last day of class, but that is a story for another time!
Furthermore, before I decided to seek help, I made the false assumption that I wasn’t “messed up” enough for therapy, which was not healthy. I learned that everyone is messed up in different ways and that’s okay! It’s a brave thing to take care of your mental health. It’s brave for people to talk about their mental health, and if you’re considering going to therapy or doing something good for yourself, I’m proud of you! Everyone should care about their mental health.
All in all, a year of being in a pandemic has been constraining. I was supposed to be a vendor at LA zine fest to represent CoZiLV, I wanted to do more traveling, and “in-person” things. Those constraints have forced me to examine where I was at during the beginning of the pandemic, almost a year ago. In the beginning of the pandemic, I was quietly suffering with my health, and I wasn’t able to do a lot of in-person things without being in pain. I felt like I would be a bummer if I talked about it, so there were a lot of times I would opt to stay home pre-pandemic, fearing my friends secretly hated me. A year later, I feel like I see the world a different way. I see that my friends don’t hate me, I see that I’m brave, capable, and in control of my emotions.
2020 was a time for reflection. 2021 is my year of bravery and being the person who I am meant to be. It sounds corny, but I’m starting to believe in myself more. I’m still growing and learning. If there’s anything I can say to other Nevadans it’s this: Ask for help and reach out to friends, because people care about you and love you. Maybe consider therapy if that is an option for you. For me, making comics is a good source of stress relief and catharsis, maybe it can be for you too! Connecting with people on the basis of your art is special, you never know who you might inspire. You may also even discover something about yourself.
Photo/Anny Ayala.
Gina Parham is a comic artist and illustrator residing in Las Vegas. She is currently studying graphic design at the College of Southern Nevada. Gina is a long-time barista and currently works at Grouchy John’s. She is a co-founder of Comics and Zines Festival Las Vegas, an event that showcases DIY publishers and local artists.
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