Excited Uncertainty

By Lorrie May Manuel

Spring 2020. Black turtleneck, black pencil-skirt, black boots, black beret, and fresh hot pink hair. I thought to myself, “Alright, I must be the stern instructor. I must dress intimidatingly. I must exude a scary auntie persona. No one will take you seriously if you are your usual quirky, nerdy self.” I am 45 minutes early. I scope around the classroom to familiarize myself. The iMac starts up with ease accompanied with its soothing startup sound. I did a mini pep-talk to myself saying, “Haaaa, I got this!”

*Huffs anxiety* One student walks in the classroom. I still can’t log in to my computer. Five more students walk into the classroom. I couldn’t figure out the projector correctly…the rest of my students come in and are seated patiently waiting as eight minutes pass. I still can’t log in; the projector still isn’t working. The foundational tasks I needed to do as an instructor were working against me conveniently on the first day. What luck.

*PROCEEDS TO PANIC MODE* ***“I’m doomed!”***

You know what happens next? I end up telling jokes being my quirky self since I was such a nervous wreck. Yes, that requirement in my head to be stern, scary was out of the window. And if you know me, when I am a nervous wreck…the jokes just flood the gates.

My students laughed with smiles, complimented me for my cool pink hair, and I thought to myself, “Hm, this is alright. THIS IS GOOD! Let’s keep this sort of motion.” We proceeded with introductions, asking students what their favorite food was.

I struggled at first. Speaking well or even loud enough is a troubling skill for me. I became more comfortable, clear, and confident with each class session. It felt exciting coming to class to teach my students who were eager and intrigued to learn. I analyzed what was and wasn’t working well in the class setting—to take a step back and adapt quickly. I was determined to utilize UX (user experience) to understand the perspective of my students. My goal was to improve as both a better instructor and speaker.

Third project was set in! They were designing their first logo/brand for themselves. I heard a few students getting sick so I thought, “Huh…must be some regular sickness, it will pass.” Then news was populating all over the world rather quickly. It was terrifying, COVID cases had struck into our city. Lockdown for Las Vegas happened exactly when spring break happened. We all had one week to figure out how to do all of our instruction to be completely remote. Many questions arose.

How will we do critiques remotely?

This is my first semester teaching…will my instructions even make sense?

Which platform will I use for online lectures now?

Enter Discord, a gaming voice, chat, and text communications platform with live streaming. I had used Discord for years, pairing it with playing MMORPGs, and talking alongside my guildmates. I also benefited from joining various coding, art, or design communities learning a ton of resources. It just made sense to do online teaching with Discord.

I created the class Discord server with chat channels such as #open-critique, #live-lecture, and fun miscellaneous channels. My intention was for students to interact with each other outside of class hours, as buddies. The same similar feeling when I talk to my guildmates or online friends. I stressed the ideas of networking and building connections are crucial in the real world as a creative.

While I was setting up the first teaching live-stream session, my students were immediately more chatty than ever and sending memes on #live-lecture channel. Discord made live lectures smooth, super fun, and increased my students’ confidence during critiques. It was an inviting space. No more timidness. Together, they began to build connections amongst themselves to improve, seeking advice from each other. The class ended in lockdown, but it was a success! We took a wonderful digital class photo with my first-ever students!

Social Anxiety. Once the semester ended, I lacked in person social skills. Anxiety grew. My work hours were shortened, and there was no freelance work for me except for illustrations or Twitch emotes due to COVID. I quickly took on my new position: full-time Certified Potato with daily tasks of playing video games from Animal Crossing, FFXIV, and scarfing down copious amounts of junk food. It was a thrill as if I was a kid with no worries again.

But I was getting complacent. I lacked motivation, I wasn’t creating–as a creative. My mental and physical health started to decline as conflicting events arose. I didn’t want to give up, so I started doing creative passion projects and fitness. I stayed busy and before I knew it, I got a call to teach another course.

“Hey Lorrie May! We would love for you to teach Illustration in Fall!” I’ve always wanted to teach illustration. I reverted back to my student tendencies to prepare for two courses. I dove into hyper-drive practicing and absorbing resources. This time it would be a hybrid class: both remote and in-person. My excitement grew over the summer months.

Sharing is Caring. During my teachings, I wanted to emphasize what I had learned being in the workforce by sharing my own successes/failures. I brought in guest speakers and implemented copywriting exercises and added real world advice.

I went through extensive step-by-step phases for projects in developing each students’ creative thought processes. Through the review process, I became their “Creative Director.” We did analogous ink lettering scanned into digital book covers to lore-writing and developing concept character art. I was stern in being their Creative Director, but kept our classes a fun and inviting environment. Truly letting their personalities shine.

Through my short one year of teaching experience, I’ve had an abundant amount of students reach back to me expressing how much of an impact I’ve had on their lives and careers. Although I am not currently teaching, they gave me assurance that I was making a difference. And that’s what teachers do, they make a positive impact. You’ll always remember those fond memories.

I was surprised to receive hand-made gifts for my last semester, how heart-warming! (Among Us Crochet Plush)

Reflecting Back. It was my first time being an instructor, just months after I graduated with an associate’s degree. I initially thought I couldn’t possibly be a good teacher. I thought I’ll just be the designer for the Department of Art in the shadows. I was comfortable. I was self-doubting, even declined at first, but my wonderful colleagues and boss Marcus were highly encouraging, so I took the leap with feelings of 50% excitement and 50% uncertainty. It became one of the most fulfilling moments of my life.

The pandemic taught me many things. I have learned to always take into account these three words: analyze, understand, and improve. By these words, I got better in dealing with conflict, my skills, and self-love. I appreciated my solitude which strengthened me. I wanted to share my experience furthermore. I became a co-founder for a non-profit named First Draft in hopes for it will become a knowledge hub, resource, and a connecting network for creatives; both for professionals and students.

In the midst of the pandemic, I grew. I had an exciting adventure in discovering that teaching became such a passionate and rewarding experience. I can’t wait to teach again, wishing my students the best.

Photo (Film) by Joseph Carter @thejoezilla

Lorrie May Manuel is an interdisciplinary creative designer and educator. Working as a one-woman studio. She specializes in UI/UX design, branding, and illustration. Having worked in agency, in-house, and academia, she has designed for international brands such as Dunkin’ Brands, Wendy’s, Denver Broncos, The Honey Baked Ham Company, and others. While at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, Department of Art (@unlvtheear), she up-started their marketing, social media presence, and visual designs while teaching Graphic Design, UI/UX Design, and Illustration courses. She is a co-founder of a non-profit: First Draft! (@firstdraft.np) aimed for creatives.

Learn more about her work at (@hellolorriemay) and feel free to say “Hello Lorrie May!”

Thank you for visiting Humanities Heart to Heart, a program of Nevada Humanities. Any views or opinions represented in posts or content on the Humanities Heart to Heart webpage are personal and belong solely to the author or contributor and do not represent those of Nevada Humanities, its staff, or any donor, partner, or affiliated organization, unless explicitly stated. At no time are these posts understood to promote particular political, religious, or ideological points of view; advocate for a particular program or social or political action; or support specific public policies or legislation on behalf of Nevada Humanities, its staff, any donor, partner, or affiliated organization. Omissions, errors, or mistakes are entirely unintentional. Nevada Humanities makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on these posts or found by following any link embedded in these posts. Nevada Humanities reserves the right to alter, update, or remove content on the Humanities Heart to Heart webpage at any time.

Kathleen KuoApril 25, 2022JComment